Joining The “Boot” Club

So there ya have it!

Here’s the deal.  My Plantar Fasciitis has been flaring up really badly; I wake up in the morning and can hardly stand, let alone put weight on it and run.  But the thing is, once I get moving and do run, I feel fine.  But anyone who has ever suffered from any level of PF knows that it that doesn’t mean I am okay.  My plantar fascia ligaments are pretty inflamed right now.  And in an effort to be proactive, my doctor ordered me to wear this to hopefully stabilize my ligaments.  Right now, my spirits are pretty high and I am feeling positive about this whole ordeal.  The really positive part is that I am still able to run and work out.  And I will be working two nights a week as long as I can handle it.  But at all other times, it’s all about the boot!  Given that this is all about being proactive, I know it is up to me to decide when I can and cannot workout.  I actually feel really lucky that I have a doctor that is also a good friend.  A doctor who is a marathon runner and a mulitple Ironman finisher.  A doctor who gets it, knows what it right for as an athlete and cares about me as a patient and a friend.  I feel lucky that I have a doctor who believes in being proactive so that long term goal focus isn’t lost.  That is probably why I am smiling in the photo- yeah, the boot sucks.  It is heavy, uncomfortable and not exactly a fashion statement.  But in the end, this is going to help me.  And I didn’t have to face a season-ending injury before getting relief.

For right now, I am taking it one day at a time.  You know…whatever gets me to that finish line in Novemeber!

30 Days Of Truth- Day 8

Day 8- Someone who has made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

First of all, if I listed everyone that ever treated me like shit I would be here until tomorrow.  And that would just cover high school.

So let’s refocus.  The one person who has made my life hell.  Got that covered.

When I was fourteen, I met my first “real” boyfriend.  (He is not the person, that would give him WAY too much credit he doesn’t deserve!)  He and I dated on and off for two years.  The only problem with our relationship is that he was simultaneously having an on and off relationship with another girl.  Stephanie.  And Stephanie made it her teenage mission to make my life hell.  And for a long time she succeeded.  How did she succeed you may be wondering?  Oh…you know, mostly with hundreds of prank calls a night and that isn’t even an exaggeration.   The things she would say to me…ugh.  They still gross me out.  On really good days she would call from a few different phones and have her friends call me too.  We both hung out at the local skating rink and she made it a goal to threaten me three or four times a night.  It all culminated in the park in my town.  One night, after having enough of her bullshit, I agreed to meet her.  I knew what was ahead…and I was right…she kicked my ass.  It hurt.  A lot.  Physically of course but also emotionally.  She had invited everyone in the tri-state area and my ego was crushed right along with my lip and nose.  But I wanted it to end, and I honestly thought if I agreed to meet her and let her take a few punches, it would end.  And for a while, the stalking (and that is exactly what it was) continued.  But finally, my family got the cops involved.  After a particularly good day of prank calling, we had just plain had it.  The phone literally never stopped ringing.  And I am talking every single day for over eighteen months.  So we called a friend of ours who was a cop in town.  And he had her arrested for harassment.  In the end, we didn’t press charges.  But she had to agree to leave me alone.  Every now and then she would get her digs in but for the most part it did finally end.  And even better, I ended it with my douchebag boyfriend.

I think the reason she sticks out in my head, even 15 years later, is because it really screwed with me emotionally.  At one time, she had been my friend and it really dictated how I treated friends for a while…and because I didn’t trust anyone, I didn’t make a lot of friends.  It made for a tough four years in high school.  But as I got older, it affected how I treated friends in a positive way.  I began to trust people and because of that I met the best friends I could have asked for; many of them I am still close with today.  And I learned that with real friends, really great things happen.  As for the asshole boyfriend, well…if anything, I learned what I would and would not tolerate in a relationship.  And for that, I feel almost grateful.  At least I got the worst relationship of my life out of the way first!

In the end, the lesson I learned is to really believe in Karma.  Seriously, she dropped out of high school and got all messed up with bad boys and drugs.  She has struggled as a single mom who drinks and parties way too much, doesn’t work and doesn’t have much to show for her life.  And I am pretty sure she never actually grew up.  We squashed our problems as adults, because we did have mutual friends and we did both eventually get over everything.  I don’t wish any bad on her (she does enough to herself) and I have forgiven her but I will never forget what she did to me and how it made me feel.  It is probably why I am so against bullying.  I was lucky to have a great family support system, but some kids don’t.  And there will always be Stephanie’s lurking around.  I sure hope no one ever treats her kid the way she treated me.

Day 1 –> Something you hate about yourself

Day 2 –> Something you love about yourself

Day 3 –> Something you have to forgive yourself for

Day 4 –> Something you have to forgive someone else for

Day 5 –> Something you hope to do in your life

Day 6 –> Something you hope you never have to do in your life

Day 7 –>Someone who has made your life worth living

Belmar Tri- My First DNF

The day wasn’t right from the minute I woke up, which by the way was 15 minutes late.  I had stayed at R2′s house and we both missed our alarms.  Thankfully his internal “fuckwearelate” alarm went off and I didn’t miss the race.  Of course, if I could have foreseen the day, I may have pulled the covers over my head and just said screw it anyway.  But you know what is hard…pulling covers over your head in T2 when you slump over and your body decides it hates your guts. 

Let’s back up though, because the race wasn’t a total bust and I really should notate the highlights before I go on about my DNF.

Got to the beach with about an hour before race time.  AnI just wasn’t feeling it.  I was kind of out of it and R2 even commented at one point that I seemed aloof and not myself.  I couldn’t pinpoint what was up, but something was up.  Most race mornings I am a bundle of nerves and at least once I say “I don’t really want to do this” so when I said that everyone was like “eh, you’re fine” because of course they are used to it.  And I agreed that once I got started I would be fine.  Nothing was innately wrong, something just wasn’t right.

Eventually it was 7am and I was standing on the beach ready to dive into the ocean.  And I killed the swim.  Even better than NJ State.  5th in my AG and 19th in my wave.  I really felt good and as I passed R2, I gave the thumbs up.  I headed into the transition area, made really good time and was off on the bike.  I actually felt pretty comfortable on the bike and passed a few people.  I finished up and headed into T2.  And then everything stopped…

…literally.  I was half through T2 and suddenly I was seeing black and white, spots, colors, starts…random horrible feeling in my chest.  Everything just stopped.  R2 was on the sidelines of the transition area cheering for and telling me how great I was doing and all I could think about was “rack your bike” at which point he noticed something was up.  I racked my bike, walked over to him and said “I don’t think I can run.”  He tried to encourage me to keep going but he could tell something was up.  And then my heart rate skyrocketed, I was shaking and I felt faint.  I sat down and just as R2 went to get someone, someone from the race personnel came over to help.  And another racer came over with a wet rag- I have no idea who you are, but thank you!  I was really concerned with how fast my heart was racing and how tight my chest felt but that turned to complete embarassment when the EMT’s came over.  Of course, I was also thankful.  They got me some fluids and took my BP which was crazy low.  They think I simply sweated too much out on the race- which has never happened before.  I hydrated super well but I just sweated way too much.  Fortunately, I began feeling better and didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything.  But I did have to go turn in my chip and accept the fact that I had my first DNF.

Ugh- these damn hard decisions!!!

The upside to it all, is that once I felt better, I really felt better.  I was back to normal within the hour and able to hang out post-race with my friends.  We spent most of the day at Bar A having breakfast, drinking and playing in the sand and water.  It ended up being a really good day.  And since I have an amazingly supportive boyfriend who is proud of me no matter what and teammates who love me regardless, I was able to have a little pity party and get over it.  DNF’ing sucks…and I wouldn’t want to do it again.  But it happens. And it happened to me.