The day wasn’t right from the minute I woke up, which by the way was 15 minutes late. I had stayed at R2′s house and we both missed our alarms. Thankfully his internal “fuckwearelate” alarm went off and I didn’t miss the race. Of course, if I could have foreseen the day, I may have pulled the covers over my head and just said screw it anyway. But you know what is hard…pulling covers over your head in T2 when you slump over and your body decides it hates your guts.
Let’s back up though, because the race wasn’t a total bust and I really should notate the highlights before I go on about my DNF.
Got to the beach with about an hour before race time. AnI just wasn’t feeling it. I was kind of out of it and R2 even commented at one point that I seemed aloof and not myself. I couldn’t pinpoint what was up, but something was up. Most race mornings I am a bundle of nerves and at least once I say “I don’t really want to do this” so when I said that everyone was like “eh, you’re fine” because of course they are used to it. And I agreed that once I got started I would be fine. Nothing was innately wrong, something just wasn’t right.
Eventually it was 7am and I was standing on the beach ready to dive into the ocean. And I killed the swim. Even better than NJ State. 5th in my AG and 19th in my wave. I really felt good and as I passed R2, I gave the thumbs up. I headed into the transition area, made really good time and was off on the bike. I actually felt pretty comfortable on the bike and passed a few people. I finished up and headed into T2. And then everything stopped…
…literally. I was half through T2 and suddenly I was seeing black and white, spots, colors, starts…random horrible feeling in my chest. Everything just stopped. R2 was on the sidelines of the transition area cheering for and telling me how great I was doing and all I could think about was “rack your bike” at which point he noticed something was up. I racked my bike, walked over to him and said “I don’t think I can run.” He tried to encourage me to keep going but he could tell something was up. And then my heart rate skyrocketed, I was shaking and I felt faint. I sat down and just as R2 went to get someone, someone from the race personnel came over to help. And another racer came over with a wet rag- I have no idea who you are, but thank you! I was really concerned with how fast my heart was racing and how tight my chest felt but that turned to complete embarassment when the EMT’s came over. Of course, I was also thankful. They got me some fluids and took my BP which was crazy low. They think I simply sweated too much out on the race- which has never happened before. I hydrated super well but I just sweated way too much. Fortunately, I began feeling better and didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything. But I did have to go turn in my chip and accept the fact that I had my first DNF.
Ugh- these damn hard decisions!!!
The upside to it all, is that once I felt better, I really felt better. I was back to normal within the hour and able to hang out post-race with my friends. We spent most of the day at Bar A having breakfast, drinking and playing in the sand and water. It ended up being a really good day. And since I have an amazingly supportive boyfriend who is proud of me no matter what and teammates who love me regardless, I was able to have a little pity party and get over it. DNF’ing sucks…and I wouldn’t want to do it again. But it happens. And it happened to me.