Home » About Me » It’s Official, My Legs Hate Me

It’s Official, My Legs Hate Me

Sometimes, as much as the outcome sucks, it is good to know a decision was made based on correct intuition.  When I pulled out of Rutgers, it was not a difficult decision.  I just knew something wasn’t right.  Remember when I said a gut feeling is not just a euphemism?  This is a perfect example.  I knew what I was feeling wasn’t in my head.  Although, I wish it had been.

Turns out, what I was feeling at Rutgers, was not in my head.  I saw the doctor on Thursday when the pain was only getting worse in my foot/ankle.  I was terrified of a stress fracture. 

The goods news is, nothing is broken in my foot!  And seriously, that is some great news!

The bad news is I have a pretty significant case of Peroneal Tendonitis. 

Peroneal Tendonitis refers to painful inflammation of the peroneal tendons located on the outer side of the foot, a little behind the ankle bump. 

There are two peroneal muscles on the outer side of the lower leg. One long one, called the peroneal longus runs from the knee to the ankle, and one short one, called the peroneal brevis muscle runs from below the knee to the ankle. Both these muscles when they approach the ankle, convert into tendons, which are thick bands of fibers that connect muscle to bone. Both these tendons run side-by-side and curve behind the outer bump of the ankle, then run below the foot where they insert into the bones of the foot.

As the muscle contracts, these tendons pull the lower surfaces of these bones, pulling/bending the foot downward (plantarflexion) and outward (eversion).

Once we had a diagnosis, it was time to treat.  Out of waitressing for 10 days and lots of RICE method.  Additionally in an effort to keep my leg stabilized and because “I can’t be trusted to stay off my feet,” I was also put in the CAM walker for the weekend.  Thank God that was only for a few days.  If I never have to see that boot again, it will be too soon.

And I’ll be rocking this again for a weeks to keep my ankle stable:

2013-04-29_08-34-02_385I know, I know…desperate for a pedicure!

I was also supposed to do this weird thing…I think normal people call it relaxing?  Yeah, I am not so good at that but didn’t have a choice.  I spent Thursday night, Friday night and all day Saturday on my couch with my foot up and ice on and off.  Sunday, I mowed the lawn in my boot- that was a new experience…!   Other than a few errands, my friends housewarming Saturday night and mowing the lawn Sunday, my weekend mostly looked like this:

 wine2Relaxing is better with wine.

As much as relaxing isn’t my thing, I’ll admit it was a nice break.  I run on empty most of the time, so to be able to have a reason to do nothing was a good and much needed chance of pace.  It is hard to stay off my feet at my day job as well but I am trying.  And since I am not working  nights this week, and I cannot afford to do anything because I am not working night this week, the above is pretty much my game plan for the rest of the weekFor now, running is completely out of the question and I have to wait until I am pain free to get back to ballet/barre but I am hoping next weekend to get a work out in, even if it is just slow on the elliptical and some lifting.  I’ll take anything!

It may seem as though my spirits are up; that is mostly due to the fact that I am so happy I don’t have a fracture.  But the truth is, I am really bummed out.  I did everything right training for Rutgers.  I felt so ready.  And for things to just fall apart and me to be back off running is a huge blow.  I am frustrated.  Actually, I am beyond frustrated.  I feel like I am always injured.  While it seems everyone I know is getting better and faster, I am regressing.  My running has never been the same since I broke my foot and I am worried that it never will be.  The other day a friend of mine said she really felt like a runner now that she was fast.  I said she was always a runner because if you run you are a runner.  She replied that before she felt like an imposter.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.  Is she saying that slow runners are imposters?  Am I one?  I mean, I don’t think so…but when I am struggling, this is the exact thing that gets in my head.  The exact thing that makes me just want to throw in the towel.  I don’t even know if that is what she meant or if I am just hyper sensitive because I am feeling so low.  I have been fighting injuries for so long…I am not getting any better.  How long do I keep doing this to myself?  I don’t know.  I have to see how this PT goes and in the meantime, I’ll be sticking with barre and ballet and lifting and trying to get strong.   Both physically and mentally.

In other news, to end on a good note…this came in the mail over the weekend:

bosontshirtBest mail I have gotten in a while!

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22 thoughts on “It’s Official, My Legs Hate Me

  1. Ooh, I had peroneal tendinitis maybe six months after I first started running–not fun. But, awesome news that it’s “just” tendinitis and not a stress fracture! I’m so sorry you’re mentally struggling with your bad race. I hope you can get back to 100% and get in a good race that you’re satisfied with. Hopefully working with your PT will find any issues with your gait, etc. that might be causing all of your injuries so you can work through that and stay injury free!

    • Even though I don’t like when others are injured, it makes me feel so much better when I know I am not alone! Thanks for the uplifting words :)

  2. I get it. I broke my ankle and was out of running for 5 months. Then after I got back (never totally back), I got a foot stress fracture in the other foot. Now I am paranoid about any pain.

  3. I’m so sorry. I know its disappointing but there’s life after peroneal tendonitis. I had the same pre-Boston 2010. I pool ran for a loong time and still pulled off the marathon. Yes, some of us get injured a lot. Some of us are slow. Hell most of us are slow when we compare ourselves to elites that’s why we don’t compare right? We’re still runners though. Hang in there. Hugs!

  4. Of course you are a runner regardless of your speed. You run, therefore you are a runner. I know some people look at it differently and some have a hard time labeling themselves as runners but that’s their issue. You are a badass runner! I hope you overcome this injury and since you caught it early I hope it gets better quickly. I’ll be praying for you, Jill. Remember, you are stronger everyday.

  5. I am where you are too. I too broke my foot (not running, but falling down the stairs) 2 years ago and ever since that healed, I have been battling other soft tissue injuries. I am currently just trying to get back into running after 6 months off and now I seem to have posterior tibalis tendonitis. Basically what you have but on the inside of the ankle. Waiting to get into PT and trying to manage the pain with ice baths and an ankle brace for stability. I too have felt like I just want to be runner and am not really one cause I seem to be constantly injured. A lot of people in my life have told me to give it up. But I think we all know I can’t do that :) Heal up, girl! You will be running again soon. If I am a runner, you are too (the longest race I have done is a 10K :) )

    • I really appreciate the thoughtful comment. It is so nice to know I am not alone (even thought I KNOW I am not!) and I hope you don’t ever give up!!!!

  6. I kinda wonder that about myself sometimes but then I think, would I ever tell another person they were NOT a runner if they were slow? No way! So I tell my brain to -knock it off-and try and iggnore those kinds of thoughts. Dumb brains:P working against us.

    My friend has the very same ailment, she’s making progress,slow but steady. Rest well!

  7. Ugh, so sorry to hear about your injury. But YAY for it not being a stress fracture! 10 days of rest may end up being just the thing you need – as long as you don’t let negative thoughts get you down. Feel better soon!

  8. Oh dear lord…can’t we all just run healthy and do the one thing we love so much without it being so difficult??? Ugh, sorry about your foot…I hope the rest is the cure-all and you’re back running strong soon. I think someone else’s blog I was reading to day had the exact same thing (Caroline: Canadian Runner in Exile).

  9. Glad it’s not a fracture. For some reason your blog doesn’t show up in my reader. I’ll have to figure that out. How did you get that tshirt?

    • Right off the ADIDAS website. I ordered it the Wednesday after Boston (tried Tuesday but they sold out so fast!) but it was back-ordered so it took over a week to get.

  10. You know you are not an imposter. Your friend just has low self-esteem. Seriously. Nothing is more annoying than a runner complaining about how they aren’t a runner because they are “slow.” Gah. It’s so in their head. If both feet aren’t on the ground, you are running. Pace doesn’t matter. I remember this everytime I think about the three stress fractures I have had and how happy I was just to be able to run after I healed!

    That being said, I would be pissed about always being injured too. What does the doc think about how your issues with your foot affect that leg?

    I am constanly go go go too and it would be so weird to relax! How many more days in the boot?!

    • Out of the boot and in a brace for a week until I get checked again.

      In my friends defense, I did finally email her and she admitted it was her own insecurities. I know she didn’t mean it the way it came off, but when I am already down I tend to take things personally.

  11. Jill I’m sorry you are injured but also glad you didn’t break anything in your foot.
    I had to learn to relax, I used to keep on going all the time too but eventually I learned and now I try to relax for at least 1 hour every day.

    Take care, don’t overdo things, wait till you are fully healed.

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