Jillian Loves

Hello to anyone who still has me on their blog roll 🙂

Back in December 2011, I wrote this post.

It really should have ended there.  It was the right time.  But like many things in my life at that time, I couldn’t let it go.  So I kept trying.  Kept trying to write when I felt like I had nothing to write about, kept trying to make something happen when I knew all along what I really needed was a good long break.  And a fresh start.  So I took time off (real time) from everything.  I stopped doing things that made me sad, dropped the negative people in my life and got my shit together.  It took a while.  A long while.  But I did it.  Finally.

I started really thinking about writing again last year but I still didn’t know how to transition this blog.  I had decided in early 2013 that I wasn’t going to race that year and now I work out just to work out.  This blog is primarily about running, racing, triathlon, training and things that are a part who I was then, but not now.  Finishing is Winning means so much to me.  The people I met and the experiences I wrote about that I get to relive each time I read about them…I love that. I love this blog.  But this blog really does need be left where it belongs.  In the past.  With who I was.  I carry that girl with me, but I am so changed.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting to write again.  I missed writing and blogging so much.  I like the community of bloggers but truthfully, even if not one person read, I would still write. (But i want you to read!) I just love writing and I feel better when I do it.  So I decided I would write like I work out.  I would write when I wanted to write, about whatever I wanted to write about.  My blog does not have to define me and I do not need to be defined by my blog.

The time for a fresh start is now.

That fresh start can be found here…Jillian Loves ❤

Hope to see you there!

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It’s Official, My Legs Hate Me

Sometimes, as much as the outcome sucks, it is good to know a decision was made based on correct intuition.  When I pulled out of Rutgers, it was not a difficult decision.  I just knew something wasn’t right.  Remember when I said a gut feeling is not just a euphemism?  This is a perfect example.  I knew what I was feeling wasn’t in my head.  Although, I wish it had been.

Turns out, what I was feeling at Rutgers, was not in my head.  I saw the doctor on Thursday when the pain was only getting worse in my foot/ankle.  I was terrified of a stress fracture. 

The goods news is, nothing is broken in my foot!  And seriously, that is some great news!

The bad news is I have a pretty significant case of Peroneal Tendonitis. 

Peroneal Tendonitis refers to painful inflammation of the peroneal tendons located on the outer side of the foot, a little behind the ankle bump. 

There are two peroneal muscles on the outer side of the lower leg. One long one, called the peroneal longus runs from the knee to the ankle, and one short one, called the peroneal brevis muscle runs from below the knee to the ankle. Both these muscles when they approach the ankle, convert into tendons, which are thick bands of fibers that connect muscle to bone. Both these tendons run side-by-side and curve behind the outer bump of the ankle, then run below the foot where they insert into the bones of the foot.

As the muscle contracts, these tendons pull the lower surfaces of these bones, pulling/bending the foot downward (plantarflexion) and outward (eversion).

Once we had a diagnosis, it was time to treat.  Out of waitressing for 10 days and lots of RICE method.  Additionally in an effort to keep my leg stabilized and because “I can’t be trusted to stay off my feet,” I was also put in the CAM walker for the weekend.  Thank God that was only for a few days.  If I never have to see that boot again, it will be too soon.

And I’ll be rocking this again for a weeks to keep my ankle stable:

2013-04-29_08-34-02_385I know, I know…desperate for a pedicure!

I was also supposed to do this weird thing…I think normal people call it relaxing?  Yeah, I am not so good at that but didn’t have a choice.  I spent Thursday night, Friday night and all day Saturday on my couch with my foot up and ice on and off.  Sunday, I mowed the lawn in my boot- that was a new experience…!   Other than a few errands, my friends housewarming Saturday night and mowing the lawn Sunday, my weekend mostly looked like this:

 wine2Relaxing is better with wine.

As much as relaxing isn’t my thing, I’ll admit it was a nice break.  I run on empty most of the time, so to be able to have a reason to do nothing was a good and much needed chance of pace.  It is hard to stay off my feet at my day job as well but I am trying.  And since I am not working  nights this week, and I cannot afford to do anything because I am not working night this week, the above is pretty much my game plan for the rest of the weekFor now, running is completely out of the question and I have to wait until I am pain free to get back to ballet/barre but I am hoping next weekend to get a work out in, even if it is just slow on the elliptical and some lifting.  I’ll take anything!

It may seem as though my spirits are up; that is mostly due to the fact that I am so happy I don’t have a fracture.  But the truth is, I am really bummed out.  I did everything right training for Rutgers.  I felt so ready.  And for things to just fall apart and me to be back off running is a huge blow.  I am frustrated.  Actually, I am beyond frustrated.  I feel like I am always injured.  While it seems everyone I know is getting better and faster, I am regressing.  My running has never been the same since I broke my foot and I am worried that it never will be.  The other day a friend of mine said she really felt like a runner now that she was fast.  I said she was always a runner because if you run you are a runner.  She replied that before she felt like an imposter.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.  Is she saying that slow runners are imposters?  Am I one?  I mean, I don’t think so…but when I am struggling, this is the exact thing that gets in my head.  The exact thing that makes me just want to throw in the towel.  I don’t even know if that is what she meant or if I am just hyper sensitive because I am feeling so low.  I have been fighting injuries for so long…I am not getting any better.  How long do I keep doing this to myself?  I don’t know.  I have to see how this PT goes and in the meantime, I’ll be sticking with barre and ballet and lifting and trying to get strong.   Both physically and mentally.

In other news, to end on a good note…this came in the mail over the weekend:

bosontshirtBest mail I have gotten in a while!

500 posts!

This is my 500th post!

Before I started blogging again, I took a look back at my posts for motivation and to remember why I loved it so much in the first place.  Some made me smile and a few made me sad.  Some are much deeper than others.  A few were really hard to write.   Some just make me laugh.  My favorite ones are the ones that created a forum for conversation and opened others up to tell their own stories.  I also love re-reading my race reports!  While many of my posts are just about my day to day training or about what is going on in my life, I hope I have in some way inspired you as my reader.  I started this blog as a way to journal, but soon found such a great world out there full of amazing people.  Before I started my own blog, I read  A LOT of blogs.  I knew I wanted THIS blog to be honest, relevant, personal and helpful.  I think I have achieved that thus far.  This blog is exactly how it should be.

In honor of my 500th post, I completed ‘100 MORE things about Onelittletrigirl‘, finally added an ‘About Me‘ page.  I figured it was about time!

Whether you have been there from day 1, day 10, day 100 or only started reading this week- thank you!

Runner Survey

I wanted to write more about Boston.  To tell about my sadness.  But it is hard to write when you cannot process.  Right now, I am just not processing.  It’ll take time.  This is all very personal to me, as it is to many of you.  What I know is this…nothing can take away my love for running or for Boston.  Next weekend, when I hit the pavement for my first half-marathon of the year, I’ll definitely have the Boston runners in my heart.  For now though, I’ll share my favorite of the photos that have been popping up:

Also, yesterday I represented by wearing this to work:

As I said when I posted on my page- bad at selfies; sorry, not sorry!

So. Instead of a heart heavy post, you get this.  Stolen from Jamoosh.  Who stole is from someone who stole it from someone and it’s all linked here.  You want in?  Take it, but then link it 🙂

Best Run Ever-

All my best runs are the ones I have downtheshore.  Wildwood is my favorite place and running is my favorite thing.

beachrunDuring the WW Tri

Three Words That Describe My Running-

Slow.  Steady.  Spirited.

My Go-To Running Outfit

Running skirt by C9 with tank top or short sleeves.  I wear it a lot.  I just bought a new one because this one is so worn out.

skirt5skirt3skirt2skirt`skirtThere’s more, but I’ll spare you!

I Won’t Run Outside When It’s…

Dark.  I am a kidnapping waiting to happen.

Worst Injury – And How I Got Over It

Broken foot. Physically, I got over it just by letting it heal and working my way back a little at a time.  Mentally, still not sure if I am over it.  I have spent a lot of time injured.

footFrom a different injury but I lived in this thing for FAR too long.

I Felt Most Like a Badass Runner When…

I ran the last miles of the marathon on a broken foot.  With a smile.

15Yup- running and smiling despite the broken foot!  Adrenaline can do anything!

Potential Running Goal for 2013

Stay uninjured.  If I get a PR, that is just the cherry on top.

My Next Race Is…

Sunday.  Rutgers 13.1

rutgers

Checking In- It’s Almost Spring!

I know February is the shortest month, but to me, it always feels so long!  Sometimes I think I suffer from seasonal affective disorder.  By the end of February, I am just at my wits end with the cold and the dark.  I need more sun!  I did just notice this week that is has been light out by the time I get to work (6am) and it is still light out when I get home (4pm) which has been a huge boost.  Even the smallest amount of natural Vitamin D makes me happy!

Running- I finally ran outside this past weekend 🙂  It was amazing.  Even if it was cold and windy, it was still awesome.  I am so tired of the dreadmill!  I plan to run outside this weekend as well, although the weather is going to be a bit colder.  I am pretty excited that I have less than two months until my first half of the year.  More excited that I am going to be super prepared for running than I was this past November!

Ballet/Barre– Last night was the first class I missed since starting.  My legs were a little sore from my Sunday run, mostly from the terrain change I think, and I just didn’t want to push it.  Barre class continues to kick my ass in the best possible way.  I really think this is my favorite work out.  I am so excited to be able to go extra over spring break!

Nutrition- I have done really well.  I am very happy with how my nutrition is going.  The pounds aren’t dropping but the inches are and best of all, I feel better!

Sleep- My goal over spring break is to get 8-9 hours of sleep each night.

 

Other life events-

-I am on Spring Break from March 2-17.  Wooohooo!  I swear Spring Break is for adults.  It is so needed.  Ours is quite long because we have international students.  They travel home to 17 different countries and 6 different continents!  Having a full two weeks gives them real quality time to visit with their families.  Even though I will waitress during this time, and pick up extra shifts, it is still a chance to sleep in.  And for that, I am so grateful!

-In three week, at this very time, I will be landing in Mexico 🙂  One of my very best friends is getting married and having a simple ceremony on the beaches of the Riviera Maya!  Of course, this comes on the heels of my Spring Break, so I wasn’t able to take the full five nights.  This will be a whirlwind trip of only three nights. Nonetheless,  I am excited for the tropical weather and time with some of my good friends!

I’ll end with this, which I just absolutely loved:

beautifulrunner

Checking In & Staying Accountable

When I first started this blog (broken record- how many times have I started a post with this sentence?!?!) I did it as a record of my training and progress as I dove into the world of running and triathlon.  I have spent much of the last few months re-reading my old blog entries.  Mostly because I wanted to remember how awesome it was when I was blogging but also because I knew it would motivate me back into my training.  It was really fun to re-read all my race posts; it was especially great to see how far I have come over the years.  It definitely did the job of motivating me.  But you know what wasn’t fun- seeing how statistical I had become.  Holy shit, I kept track of ever step I took!  Or at least it seemed!  I did weekly reviews, months reviews, broke down my mileage for swimming AND biking AND running.  I really feel it is important to keep a training schedule and I still think it is important to keep track of my miles, but I also think I took it to a level of crazy before.  In planning how I was going to approach this year, I knew staying healthy and uninjured were at the top of the list.  That meant following a good nutrition plan, not pushing too hard and following the 10% rule like it is my job.  Obviously, this means I have to keep track of things as I go along.  But more than that, I need to stay accountable.  Which brings me back to the exact reason I started this blog.  As a record of my training and progress.  I don’t need to do specific re-caps.  But I do need to stay accountable with at least a monthly post of where I have been and where I am going.

So where was I in January?

Running- I ran consistently two times a week building a base throughout the beginning of the month.  Towards the end, I threw in a third min-run as I began to get into my half-marathon training schedule.  Right now, my “long” runs are still short and I am working on speed and consistency.  As the mileage builds, I will focus more on endurance.  My runs thus far have been good for the most part and I am pretty excited to see where this training cycle takes me.

Ballet– I am loving these classes.  I take one ballet class and week and one Barre class a week.  When I get  rare Monday or Friday night in, I do an extra one.  Ideally, I would be doing two of each a week, but unfortunately a schedule like mine isn’t very accommodating.  I am looking forward to Spring Break when I can pick up some more classes.  If you are looking for a new way to strength train or just a new activity, I high recommend a Barre class.  I cannot believe how much my body has changed in just six weeks.  My weight hasn’t dropped all that dramatically, but I see and feel such a difference!

Nutrition-  I have been using My Fitness Pal to track what I eat.  Accountability matters most here.  I don’t put the cookie in my mouth because I know I have to write it down.  I don’t have the second glass of wine (or even the first lately) because I don’t want to use my calories for it.  I am eating so much smarter this year because I know I have to own it every single day.  This isn’t new information; it is a n0-brainer being accountable for what we eat will result in eating better.  With that said, I am always amazed at how much I change when I practice this on a daily basis.

Sleep- I am pretty sure that as long as I work two jobs and have to get up at 5am for the first one, I will never get enough sleep. Maybe I can catch up on Spring Break?!?!?

Resolutions- I am trying.  In January I finally set up my guest bedroom so that was a huge check off my list.  I haven’t read a single book but I did pay off more debt.  I also continued my promise of only paying cash for everything.  If I don’t have it, I need to either pick up another waitressing shift, or not have it until I can better afford it.  The only purchases I put on my credit cards are online purchases.  The only other way I will use my credit card are for big purchases (new appliances coming soon and hopefully new living room set) and real emergencies.

Other life events-

-As you already know if you read my blog, my friend Jessica lost her battle with CF two weeks ago.  Sadly, last week, only a week after Jessica passed away, my friend Will lost his battle with lung cancer.  It has been an emotionally tough month for me, but I have been blessed overall and that is what I am focusing on right now.

-I am really excited that the Raven’s won the Superbowl.  Joe Flacco grew up a few towns over, went to school with my cousin and is married to a friend of our family.  I don’t follow Pro sports all that much (I love college sports) but I do cheer for the Ravens, so that was an exciting game 🙂

Do you track what you eat?  How much you exercise?

What do you focus on when you are going through a tough time?

Quick Pop Quiz

The truth is, I am in the mood to blog but my thoughts are such a mess.  Between Jessica passing away a week ago and my friend Will being so sick, I am just so over-emotional.  I took off today because I am having furniture delivered and I am looking very forward to a long afternoon workout.

 

For now, this.  Which I stole from Andrea.

 

1. FUEL: Shot Bloks, GU, Energy Chews, Candy or Other?

The only fuel I use during runs is GU.  And it has to be TriBerry.  Nothing else has worked as well or as consistently.  For tri’s I use Bloks in transition, but still GU on the run.


2. Race Length: 5k, 10k, 1/2 Marathon, Marathon, Ultra or Other?

My favorite distance is 10 miles and I do not think there are near enough 10 mile races.  The only one close to me is the Broad Street Run which I haven’t ran since 2009.  The race has gotten so out of control, I cannot stand the thought of running it.  This year, they capped it at 40,000 people.  No thank you.

3. Workout Bottoms: Skirts, Running Shorts, Capris, Pants or Other?

Depends on the weather, but I HATE running in pants.  I train in shorts but love racing in skirts.  So I guess skirts are my favorite 🙂

4. Sports Drink: Gatorade, Powerade, Cytomax, you stick to water when you run or Other?

During a race, I might use Gatorade, but I mostly depend on water.  Post-run, I love chocolate milk!


5. Running Temperatures: HEAT or COLD?

I run much better in the cold.  So, as much as I hate it, I definitely have to say cold.


6. Running Shoe Brands: Saucony, Mizuno, Nike, Brooks, Asics or Other?
I ran in Brooks Adrenalines for 5 years.   Honestly, I never imagined I would run my marathon in anything but Brooks, but when the 11’s came out, I didn’t like them.  Switched to Saucony and haven’t looked back.
 
7. Pre-race meal: Oatmeal, Bagel, Banana, Eggs, Cereal or Other?
English muffin with PB.  Always.  And sometimes a banana too.

8. Rest Days: 1x per week, 2x per week, never ever ever or other? 

Generally speaking, Saturday is my only real rest day.  My full-time job is Monday through Friday.  I workout two-three nights a week and on Sundays.  I also waitress two-three nights a week and sometimes on Sunday.  The only day I never waitress is Saturday and I try not to work out that day either.   And anyone who thinks waitressing is not exercise, has never done it.  On average, I walk 4-6 miles a shift.  Not necessarily a work-out but definitely not a rest day!

 

9. Music: Have to have it or go without it? 

On the treadmill, definitely.  Running alone, never.  Racing, sometimes.

 

10. #1 reason for running: stress-relief, endorphins, you love to race, so you can eat all the cupcakes you want, weight-loss, love running for social reasons or other?

I love what running has brought into my life.  The fitness, the confidence, the people and the ability to do things I never imagined.  I have never regretted a single workout.  I have never regretted this journey.