OMG. Less than a month. A month from today I will have ran a marathon. Could this really be, finally, happening?? I have never been this close, having to back out twice, and it is starting to get very real. Wow. Holy wow!
I have shyed away from really talking about the marathon and my training for two reasons. The first reason being that there are some opinions I don’t want. There is a plan for everyone; I like my plan and feel good about what I am doing. Often, I know I can be discouraged by what others may say if they do not agree with what I am doing or how I am doing such things. (Does that even makes sense?) Also, I haven’t talked much about it, because in all honesty, its big enough. I am not running this to break any records, get to Boston or anything like that. My sole purpose for running this marathon is for myself. So that I can say I did something bigger than myself and something that I never imagined I would do. From day one there have only been two goals. Finish injury free and finish happy. Time. Does. Not. Matter.
In my day to day life, no one cares about how fast I run, what my splits are or what time the clock says when I cross the finish line. But with my teammates and in the blog world, a lot of focus is placed on times, paces, splits, goal times and etc. For someone who runs on the slower side, like myself, this can be discouraging. When I read that walking takes away from the glory of a marathon or when I read that everyone should finish in such a such time, I feel discouraged. And the most important part of my training has been to stay positive. I have had to restrict from reading some blogs and training with groups, so that I can keep a positive mentality. And trust me, I know (most) people do not make statements to hurt anyone, but do so without realizing what it can do to a person’s pysche. Although I am a very strong person, I am also very sensitive. I have made major efforts to improve my confidence and keep positive through this training. And so far, mostly so good!
While I haven’t talked much about the marathon up until now, I probably won’t be able to talk about anything BUT the marathon for the next four weeks! I have so many questions and feelings…I totally get how major this is, regardless of how different my goals might be from others. The marathon truly is such a personal journey. And in less than a month I will be running (and yes, walking) with thousands of others on their own personal journeys. There is something so significant to me about all of this that I get emotional when I think about the day. I have visioned it so many times. During training runs, visioning the race helps me so much. I think about the crowds, my family and friends, the music, the energy and of course the finish line. I try not to think about the exhaustion, the pain and the time! I am going to be out there a long time. But at the end of that long time will be the long-awaited finish line. And that will make it all worth it.
Every day is different- Some days I love the training, some days I hate it. Some days I feel strong and others not-so-much. Some days I am excited and others scared to death. But on November 20th, 2011, I am going to toe the line of my very first marathon. And I have a feeling that the feeling I will have in those first moments, and in the moments crossing the finish lines, are ones I cannot begin to imagine. Only live. And I get chills thinking about it.
Can you remember how you felt in the weeks and days leading up to your first marathon? Please share 🙂